Today is the culmination of many days. A birthing of myself anew as I begin to flow into the future.
Yet this moment is uncomfortable with a burning in my belly and a head that feels full of sand. My body feels tired and some what hard to move. Or it maybe that my body wants to let go feeling like it almost wildly wants to relax. I find myself forgetting to breathe deep and feeling light-headed from lack of prana. And when I remember to breathe my body responds with desperate satisfaction yet I keep forgetting.
Many days over the past week I have writhed within myself feeling the depth of this transformation occurring within. It has not been emotionally comfortable. Yet the few moments of clarity that have occurred during those days have been beautiful, crystalline. Like a ray of sunshine breaking through a fog.
I know that once my flow fully begins I will feel the energy of it and everything will be better. Tomorrow or the next day my energy will be totally different from it is now.
Today the importance of each thing, each moment is poignant. The sun feels sickeningly hot and dazzlingly bright. The mushrooms in my breakfast remind me of why I detested mushrooms as a child. Each one is rubbery grey and unappetizing with a flavor reminiscent of the unique odor surrounding a wet dog.
Yet, in the next instant, a word overheard or smile flashed brings me joy and satisfaction. And earlier the cool mountain air during my morning hike felt like heaven. Bathing me in sweet refreshment completely washing away fatigue and care. All while I walked among the most beautiful wild flowers with their innocent purples, yellows and pinks lining the path as sunlight filtered down through precious lofty white clouds keeping me cool.
Now the day has worn away and it is becoming late. And I am already changed. What I thought would take until tomorrow is already happening. I am flowing now and on my way.